THE GREAT INTERVIEW EXPERIMENT

As you may or may not know, I am a huge fan of Neil Kramer, who writes the blog Citizen of The Month. Why does Neil make me all gooey inside? Because not only is he a fantastic writer, he is probably the best advocate for bloggers and writers in cyber-space. He also encouraged me to write more about sex, resulting in this post.

Neil's latest brain child is the Great Interview Experiment. His premise, in a nutshell, is that many bloggers, including yours truly, feel like they are just a spec of flea doo doo on the butt of a giant dog. Well, that's not what he SAID, but the idea is the same. There are so many writers and bloggers out there in cyber space, we often feel like we are small and insignificant in the cacophony of voices. Until, that is, someone INTERVIEWS us.

So Neil set out to have bloggers interview each other, not just to show how significant we really are, but also to learn about what makes us crazy cyber-writers tick. The idea has caught on, with what seems like hundreds of writers signing up in droves.

Always one to enjoy the spotlight, I signed up too. I got to interview Melanie, of Not Just Nouns and Verbs. You can see that interview here.

In return, a wonderful blogger and all around great chick named Otir interviewed me. Otir's blog is written in French, so if you go to her site to read it, don't worry, you haven't drank too much tequila at lunch. However, it would be great if you left Otir a nice word or two on her blog - since she made this whole interview process both interesting and fun, and asked some really great questions, despite the fact she was nervous about English not being her native language. You can learn more about Otir by reading an interview Elisabeth did with her (in English) here.

And if you would like to participate in the Great Interview Experiment, or learn more, you can still sign up by going here.

Thanks Neil, for giving all us hacks out here our 15 minutes of fame!

XXX

OTIR: You blog with words that I don't hear on airwaves, can you tell me why that is? I understand that you had named your blog after a person with Tourette Syndrome, and it sounds like you regret you don't have much control over what you say and how you say it.

CB: You mean I swear too fucking much. Yah, I know. I swear too fucking much in real life too, but I'm SELECTIVE about it. For example, I don't tell my mother or my boss to fuck off, or that I'm sick of assholes shitting on me.

In fact, I edit a lot of what crosses my mind before it crosses my lips. Which is I think what you mean by regretting I don't have more control over what I say or how I say it. I do have control, but there are rules in the world. And those rules, I'm sorry to say, have become more and more strict. Everyone today is so fucking worried about offending someone else or being politically correct, no one says what's really on their mind anymore. That's why I have Cookiebitch - to say what's on my mind in an environment in which the rules are my own - not society's.

I did name the blog Cookiebitch after a woman executive with Tourette's who, because of her disease, used to scream out "COOKIEBITCH!" in board meetings, elevators, etc. I thought it would be so cool to be her - to have a built in reason to scream out anything you want at anytime. That to me is true freedom.

OTIR: I saw archives back to August 2005. Do you remember what prompted you to start blogging? Tell me how your blog evolved, if it did. How do you see it in two years from now? Did you manage to ease your initial angst or is it growing and everlasting?

CB: I started my blog right after I left journalism and joined the corporate world. I used to have a humor column at the newspaper - a toned down, more PC version of Cookiebitch (although I would still get hate mail from little old religious ladies. Fucking old bitties!)

When I gave that up to join the corporate world (which I don't have any regrets over, by the way), the one thing I missed was doing that column. Plus, I was writing all this shiny, happy stuff for the company all the time. I needed something to balance it out - where I could be dark and call a fucked up mess a fucked up mess. That's when I started Cookiebitch.

I actually ended up going back to the newspaper when they offered me the top job there after 5 months - and when I did that I got so stressed out I stopped blogging regularly for awhile. Going back to the paper ended up being the wrong decision, but luckily my company wanted me back. That meant Cookiebitch came back too.

I would like to see Cookiebitch still going strong two years from now - and to see my writing and readership improve during this time. And I think I'll always have angst. It is hard to live in this world and not have angst, for there is an endless supply of assholes and dumb fucks, it seems. And as long as there ARE assholes and dumb fucks, I don't think Cookiebitch will ever stop having something to write about.

OTIR: I enjoyed reading some of your posts dealing with sexual feminine pleasure. As a foreigner in the States, I have been greatly surprised to very seldom hear women speak about sex, although I made many friends and thought they would be at ease to speak with me. Is it easier to write about sex in a blog than to have a conversation in real life?

CB: I'm pretty open about talking about sex in my "real" life too - and so are most of my girlfriends. But I hear other people saying the same thing about women, and I wonder which women they hang out with - because they are hanging out with the wrong women.

I think women are becoming more open as a whole in talking about sex because society is starting to say it is okay for us to enjoy sex as much as men. Which is about fucking time. Because I truly believe if you have a healthy sex life, you are a happier person. If you can let yourself go and enjoy your body, then that will transform into better self-confidence. Plus, it is really hard to be cranky after an orgasm, don't you think?

I hope all women figure that out and can be more open about their sexuality. I think they should also go out and buy a really good vibrator. It does wonders to reduce stress!

OTIR: In a recent post you approach the question of hugs and closeness, and how you don't like that. I was wondering if you had ever thought of traveling to discover other cultures where it is easier to be physically close. What do you think?

CB: I have traveled to Europe, and will do so again this year. For some reason it doesn't bother me when I go to Budapest, for example, and have men kissing my hand. In fact, I rather like it. But I think it has something to do with the accent. And the fact that I'm drunk and in a foreign place. Because if some guy came up to me at Safeway and tried to kiss my hand, I'd probably twist his head off and piss down his throat.

OTIR: Tell me what you do for a living. I mean do you leave home at 7 a.m. and go back home at 5 p.m. or do you write papers at 2 a.m. and sleep in while the phone is ringing? What do you use the proceeds of the ads on your blog for? Do people really donate or only your best friends?

CB: Well I joke I'm a corporate whore, which means I'm in corporate PR. I work 8 to 5 normally, but my job is pretty demanding and I also travel as part of my duties. I blog in the evenings, at lunch, and on the weekends. So I'm pretty much writing all the time.

I make about 30 cents a day from the ads on my blog, so we're talking just enough money to pay for my Typepad subscription each year. MAYBE. And no, noone has donated, not even my friends. I'm not bitter about it though. Fucking cheap ass bastards.

My goal, however, is to make enough money from blogging to some day be able to work from home and never wear pants or a bra again. I will however, be wearing some kick-ass stilettos. A girl's gotta have SOME standards.

OTIR: I saw that you were married. Does your husband read your blog? Tell me about it: if he does, if he doesn't, why, why not. Hide nothing from me.

CB: My husband does read my blog and is a huge supporter of my writing. I know if I've done well if he laughs out loud. He's my best fan and my most respected critic. He also makes ME laugh all the time!

And since you don't want me to hide anything, I'd like to say he's well hung and an animal in bed, too. His nickname is Mr. Ed. I shit you not. There, now you know everything.

OTIR: How do you interact with your readers?

CB: I try to e-mail everyone who comments on my blog back personally. I know some bloggers respond to readers via the comment section of the blog, but I like to be more personal, because you never know if they'll notice that. But they will notice a returned e-mail.

My readers are all very funny in their own right and make me laugh quite frequently. However, it does make me a little pissy if they post a comment that's funnier than the post itself. That shit's gotta stop.

OTIR: I did not take the time to explore the blogs in your blogroll. I'd rather have you tell me about what you read on the Internet, what do you like browsing and what is your comfort zone.

CB: I read Mental Poo every day because the guy is just fucking hilarious. In a way, he's like the male version of me (only funnier) because he talks about his balls all the time, and I talk about my tits.

I also read my friend's blogs every day (see Friends of the Bitch), because that's what you do when you're a friend (You also use the donate button, but apparently they didn't get that fucking memo!) The rest of the blogs on my blog roll I try to read at least once a week. I kind of jump around depending on my mood, because each of them have different styles. But I think they all made my blogroll because a) they could write b) they were sincere in their writing - meaning they weren't trying to mimic someone else or try too hard but were themselves, and c) they have something to say. Oh .. there's a fourth reason - they pay me. Just kidding. I think I've established NO ONE pays me.

OTIR: I didn't see any political issue at first sight in your blog. Is there any? Are you not interested in politics? Are you following the presidential race? Why, why not?

CB: I have very strong political views, and am following the race quite closely. However, you won't find me blogging about them, or even talking about them for the simple fact I don't like to get into heated arguments with people about politics.

When I was in journalism, I was constantly in the middle of political debates. And I've found that no other topic can divide people as strongly, except maybe religion, which I also won't blog about. People rarely respect other people's political and religious beliefs anymore - or are even willing to CONSIDER them. They just react, in a big ball of angry, irrational fire. And I don't want to deal with that, quite frankly. I don't want to hear how liberals are all baby-killers and conservatives are all religious zealots.

But I *DO* want people to get off their lazy asses and vote, instead of just complaining about what is wrong in the world. That's the one thing I would blog about, come to think of it. I mean, my god, we have drive thru voter registration now - you can vote by mail. What's your fucking excuse? People in other countries have died for the rights we are too fucking lazy to exercise here. It's pathetic.

Damn, Otir ... you got me all hot and bothered over that one. Nice job. Barbara Walters better watch her ass.

OTIR: If you hadn't been a journalist and a writer, what other talent would have you liked to have?

CB: I think I would have liked to have more of a head for business, so I could start my own - be ruler of my own domain, so to speak. But I see a pair of Manolos and all business sense leaves my brain.

It would be cool to be like Donald Trump and have your own empire to rule though. My empire, by the way, would have Oompa Loompas. Cause midgets are fucking cool.

Comments

[Daisy]

I think I learned too much about you and your hubby in this one.

When do we get to see a pic of YOUR Manolos?

[zoe]

what the fuck is up with you and midgets??? i know you have one at your house. i am so never coming to visit. otherwise cool interview...

[Bex]

You know, I'm always a few submissive steps behind you at humor blogs and I've kind of wondered, "What's SHE have that I don't have?" Now I know...I was fascinated by your interview. As a big fan of both cookies AND people who drop the F-bomb, I will be back to check you out! Thanks for the laughs...

Bex

[Chantal]

Great interview Otir! and of course CB great answers!

Hey! When are you going overseas again?

[ie]

Great Q/A!
And you know I really LIKE that you respond to comments via email. Some bloggers never respond to comments, and it feels like you are commenting into the great void. (Of course, if we looked into some blogger's brains, that might be what we find.) (Nothing against bloggers of course, oh beautiful ones.)

[35173]

I discovered this blog thanks to Otir. I just wanted to say that, as a french woman living near Budapest, I AM bothered when a man kisses my hand. Well, maybe not so bothered but it surely makes me laugh.

[moooooog35]

I feel like I'm watching a lesbian jello-wrestling contest.

..without paying for it...like I usually do.

CB, I'm going to have to start paying you money...you're, like, my pimp.

If you beat me, though, please be gentle.

I bruise easily.

[Ree]

Excellent!

[Veronica]

That was fantastic and hilarious all at once.

"Plus, it is really hard to be cranky after an orgasm, don't you think?"

Ain't that the truth!

[Otir]

Thanks Neil! I had a secret weapon though. Cookiebitch didn't realize I was a woman at first. That's because English has no gender. But I didn't realize she hadn't realized it either. So we were equal. Two powerful women.

And I loved what I read too. Thanks to you I have a new blog in my newsreader.