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Yeah, I understand how crappy a breakup can be, however....
that dumbass president is NOT from Texas...he is a transplanted Shrub.


Breaking up with your partner is one of the worst things that could happen to you. It's hard coping with the feeling that you're on your own again. The whole breaking up ordeal might bring about good changes in the long run, but it's really the days after the break-up that you wish would end.


Very well put. I needed you guys about 10 years ago!! I thought the same thing as Sandra too, you have to be careful how bad you talk him if there is a chance she might get back with him!


A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend yesterday, after I told her (over ice cream and french fries, no less) that I had found his (very active) profile on match.com. So I got to handle #1 and #3 even before the official breakup occured. I'm heading over to her place tonight to take care of numbers 2, 4 and 5. Thanks for so clearly defining my role in this, it's nice to have an job description.


I feel like posting a comment here could be verrrrry dangerous.

So I will just say that I, um, enjoyed this post very much.

And, er, the steak-on-the-dick bit made me awfully nervous.

Cookiebitch, I now fear you and women everywhere.


Bring on the girl friends brigade...but one thought - sometimes #1 has to be delayed for just a little while. I once spent a week enthusiastically talking about all the flaws of a good friend's ex-...and then they got back together. The back-pedaling was a bit rough on that one.


Having gone through something similar very recently, I can say two things:

1)You are a good friend
2)You are a good woman

A friend coming through at this time makes all the difference. Until mine stepped in, I'd subsisted on half an eggroll for two days. I had managed to shower, but it was just because crying in there was easier and neater than dribbling snot all over my couch.

On behalf of women everywhere, I thank you. Please pass the chocolate syrup.


You totally misrepresent men. I know I don't stop at #2 (getting my buddy drunk). I like to spend some time talking to him about his emotions, trying to learn as much as possible about his relationship with his ex-girlfriend. This comes in very handy later when I go over and try to get his ex into bed as the "rebound" guy.

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