CB: Sometimes when I'm at the gym, I look around at the ugly people and wonder why they bother. I mean, have a cheeseburger - it doesn't matter. Being thin and ugly isn't better than being fat and ugly. So go for it.
Niece: LOL Someone needs to tell them. It's the only decent thing to do.
CB: I just thank god we are pretty. Although think about how much less stress we'd be under if we were ugly and didn't have to worry about how we look because nothing could help.
Niece: I could go for a cheeseburger right now. I have no self-control.
CB: Maybe the reason we have no self-control is because we are ugly people trapped in pretty people's bodies. Deep down we think the cheeseburger doesn't matter.
Niece: I've been in bed watching "Curb Your Enthusiasm" for two hours like a lazy piece of crap.
CB: It's because of your inner ugly person. Blame it on that homely bitch.