THE MAN, THE LAUGHS, THE WORDS

I've gotten myself in trouble more than a few times on this blog because of my foul mouth.

Fuck people if they can't take a joke.

So I was saddened today to hear that one of my favorite performers of all time - a man who got arrested for swearing - died today.

George Carlin was probably most famous for his "7 words you can't say on TV" routine in the 1970s, which offended one member of a Milwaukee audience so much that they complained to police, who in turn took him to jail for disturbing the peace. Last time I checked, going to see a comedian isn't what people normally seek out as a peaceful experience - or the comedian is probably doing something wrong. Maybe that's why the charge didn't stick. That ... and we have this thing called freedom of speech. Still, George was arrested several times after that incident too, and kept refusing to remove the routine from his act. That's sticking it to those cocksuckers, George.

But the debate didn't stop there. A radio station in New York played George's "7 words" routine - uncensored and unbleeped - on the air, prompting the FCC to rule that while we do have freedom of speech, we don't have it over the airwaves, where innocent children may hear a swear word and become a serial killer. Stupid motherfuckers - always pissing on our fun.

The thing is ... George didn't say these words just to say them. Shit no! He was smarter than that. In fact, George was always the kind of comedian to make you think, to make you question. Foul mouthed bitches like me could learn from him, I say. Often I find myself swearing for the hell of it ... or because a tamer word just doesn't seem to get the point across as effectively. Let's face it, the word "breasts" just don't do my "tits" justice. I mean, have you seen my rack? But when George said "cunt" it somehow seemed intellectual. And that, my friends, is a gift.

As a fan of words, and a fan of humor, I would like to post this transcript of George Carlin's "7 words" routine ... one, because it's funny; two, because it's smart; and three, because the FCC has no control over this blog so they can kiss my ass.

Goodbye, George. And thanks - for the words, the laughs, and the memories.

"I love words. I thank you for hearing my words. I want to tell you something about words that I uh, I think is important. I love..as I say, they're my work, they're my play, they're my passion. Words are all we have really.

"We have thoughts, but thoughts are fluid. You know, [humming]. And, then we assign a word to a thought, [clicks tongue]. And we're stuck with that word for that thought. So be careful with words. I like to think, yeah, the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them.

"There are some people that aren't into all the words. There are some people who would have you not use certain words. Yeah, there are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven of them that you can't say on television. What a ratio that is. 399,993 to seven. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous, to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here, you seven. Bad words. That's what they told us they were, remember? 'That's a bad word.' 'Awwww.' There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad Intentions.

"And words, you know the seven don't you? Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, huh? Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that will infect your soul, curve your spine and keep the country from winning the war.

Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, and Tits, wow. Tits doesn't even belong on the list, you know. It's such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname. 'Hey, Tits, come here. Tits, meet Toots, Toots, Tits, Tits, Toots.' It sounds like a snack doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is, right. But I don't mean the sexist snack, I mean, New Nabisco Tits. The new Cheese Tits, and Corn Tits and Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits Onion Tits, Tater Tits, Yeah. Betcha can't eat just one. That's true I usually switch off . But I mean that word does not belong on the list.

"Actually, none of the words belong on the list, but you can understand why some of them are there. I am not completely insensitive to people's feelings. You know, I can dig why some of those words got on the list...like cocksucker and motherfucker. Those are...those are heavy-weight words. There's a lot going on there, man. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling. They're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend with. And those K's. Those are aggressive sounds, they jump out at you. CocksuckerMotherfuckerCocksucker. It's like an assault, on you. So I can dig that.

"And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.'

"And of course the word Fuck. The word Fuck, I don't really...well, this is some more accidental humor, but I don't really want to get into that now. Because I think it takes too long. But I do mean that. I mean, I think the word fuck is an important word. It's the beginning of life, and, yet it's a word we use to hurt one other, quite often. And uh, people much wiser than I have said, I'd rather have my son watch a film with two people making love than two people trying to kill one other. And I of course agree. I wish I know who said it first, and I agree with that. But I would like to take it a step further. I would like to substitute the word fuck, for the word kill in all those movie cliches we grew up with. 'Okay Sheriff, we're gonna fuck ya now. But we're gonna fuck ya slow.' So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' rap on that word. I hope so.

"Uh, there are two-way words, but those are the seven you can never say on television. Under any circumstances you just can not say them ever, ever ever, not even clinically. You can not weave them in the panel with Doc and Ed and Johnny, I mean it's just impossible, forget those seven, they're out.

"But, there are some two-way words. There are double-meaning words. Remember the ones your giggled at in sixth grade? 'And the cock crowed three times.''Hey, the cock the cock crowed three times. It's in the bible.' There are some Two-way words, like it's okay for Curt Gowdy [mis-spelled in original transcription. -ed.] to say 'Roberto Clemente has two balls on him.' But he can't say, 'I think he hurt his balls on that play Tony, don't you? He's holding them. He must have hurt them by God.' And the other two-way word that goes with that one is prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. Yes, you can prick your finger, but don't finger your prick. No, no."

Comments

[suburbancorrespondent]

71 - the man was 71. How the heck did that happen?

[Citronella]

As a non-native speaker I was very surprised to discover that these particular cuss words were judged so much more offensive than others. Everybody says "fuck" all the time (even in France, mind you), don't they?

I like going back to the meaning of words. "Piss" and "shit". Well, sorry, they're a bit nasty and all, but they're facts of life, no much no less than pee and poo. So is fucking. And motherfucking, by the way, is commonly practiced by many fathers and other respectable people. And cocksucking? Happens to a lot of very good people ‒ even though I'll agree it's something you might want to keep private about yourself. And so on.

And also. "Cunt" and "tits" are on the list, but "cock" is not? I think it's very sexist. (Well then you couldn't quote the Bible. True. But tits are birds too, and how are you supposed to talk about cow milking? Oh, you use "teat". Of course!)

[Veronica]

I had an awesome comment, but then I forgot it. It was all about how I heard a word bleeped on the radio (in a song) and then the very next song had a WORSE word and they didn't bleep it.

Stupid ass radios.

[tigerlilly]

Oh man. I am totally bummed. I can't believe George is gone.

I discovered his particular brand of humour when I was driving rigs all over Gods green earth (USA, top to bottom, coast to coast!)

I'd had enough country music to make me deaf, and it seemed that the stereo in my truck couldn't find a station anywhere that played anything else. I like country music but sometimes you need a break.

I fueled up at Lebanon Junction, KY (northbound, I65), and there not far from the cashier station was the requisite display of tapes--which was good because I had a tape deck and not a CD player! I went through them and pulled out Toledo Window Box, Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics, and The Best of Bill Cosby--just to tame it all down a little. I'd never seen George Carlin, had never witnessed his brilliance and humour, but I recognised him as Rufus from Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, and that was good enough for me.

I got back into my truck, popped Toledo Window Box into the deck, and before I could even get off the ramp onto the interstate, I was laughing-crying at 'Goofy Shit'. I played that tape over and over all the way to LaSalle, IL.
Then I did the same thing with the other two........yes, Bill Cosby is fucking hilarious and never utters a filthy word. I can appreciate that kind of humour, too!

Needless to say, I still have those cassettes, but they are pretty warped from repeated playing, which is just as well, since I don't own a single tape deck, car or otherwise.

Wow.

I can not belive George Carlin is no longer with us.

Rest in peace, George.

[witchypoo]

I swear I had George Carlin and Bill Cosby on long play records. Memorized them I did.
Good to see you typing. I'm with you on the sad.

[Ree]

Darlin, you done him proud.
;-)

[Memarie Lane]

I am not a George Carlin fan. Not because of his potty mouth, but because he said so many things that were just absolute bullshit. But I don't have to be a fan to wish him well in the afterlife. Rest in peace dude!

[ie]

Waaaay back in the 70s, I "knew" someone at the Sahara Hotel, and got three tickets to see George Carlin. I took my parents. Neither of my parents used foul language, so I have to admit I was pretty embarrassed when George went into his 7 or so minute long tirade on the word "fuck".

Since then I have made it a point to listen to the words beyond the words. Using fuck eleventy million times in a 2 hour show may be an attention-getter, but that man was funny in so many ways. I really liked when he pointed out the obvious.

Rock on, George.

[GoingLikeSixty]

I think it was poor judgment for you to reprint verbatim one of his classic routines.

First, you didn't excerpt his work, you reprinted it. Homage or not, it just doesn't seem fair.

Second, Carlin said things funny. Eliminating his expression and double takes reduces his talent.

[Kim]

I'm glad you put this on your blog. I remember hearing it for the first time when I was younger (so scandalous!), and while I was reading it, I could "hear" him saying it again.

RIP, George. You were one funny mofo.

[Miss J]

...siiigghhh... you know what sucks even MORE about George Carlin dying? He was supposed to get the Mark Twain Prize this November.

It's a huge bummer that a guy who got arrested for being funny is now going to get (posthumously) what is essentially The Lifetime Achievement Award for comedians, and he won't personally be there to accept it.

Almost makes me want to cry.

[Julie]

I remember being a kid in the early 80's and hiding out in the hallway when my parents would watch him on t.v. At that time I had no clue what the man was talking about but knew it had to be good to bring my father to tears from laughing so hard. Now being an adult I totally get it. Some of the best memories I have with my father are watching his live performances on t.v..

[Sheri]

I've been calling my husband Tits for years because of George.

He was one of my favorite narrators on Thomas the Tank Engine.

May he rest in peace.

[Daisy]

Why was it poor judgement on your part to post a portion of his act?