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Comments

Daisy

You have grossed me out on so many levels.

The fact that you put the sock story in print gives me the willies.

You should be ashamed!

Joe

I hope the young lad does not read this site.

Jack

I have a friend who recently walked in on his daughter and her boyfriend.

Apparently she has mirrored doors on the closet so he saw far more than he wanted to.

I wonder if she knows how traumatized her father was. To paraphrase him, It is not easy to find out that your daughter enjoys sex as much as you do.

Fortunately mine is all of 3 so I have some time before I worry about this.

teebopop

I too am a step-parent. And, I've gone through the same sticky (no pun intended) situation - only with a stepdaughter. Yup. They have urges too.

Since we had full custody (mom is deceased), it was pretty much left up to dad and I. And in this case, me.

I caught my oldest in the midst of self-love in the middle of the afternoon - when she thought no one was home.

Very awkward.

I didn't say anything to her at that very moment. Although the first inclination was to immediately make her stop and startle her into a state of shock so that she would never do that again.

But it wasn't realistic.

So, I backed away (she did not know I was standing there in shock myself) and let her finish her business.

When she came out of the room, and saw me semi-calmly having a cup of coffee (with some Kaluha to calm my nerves), I asked her to sit down.

I looked her straight in the face, eye-to-eye and told her that I had walked in on her while she was masturbating. I then proceeded to tell her that while this was a normal activity and that there was nothing wrong with it, I did tell her that there was a time and a place and doing it with her bedroom door open because she thought no one was home was just in appropriate on so many levels.

Not once did I say that what she was doing was inappropriate. I did not want her to feel ashamed that she was having these normal urges.

I told her that the next time she felt the urge to relieve some sexual tension that she was to close and LOCK her bedroom door.

I also told her to confine her activities to her room, when she was alone, and then proceeded to talk to her about whether or not she was sexually active and what we needed to do about it.

She really opened up to me that day (and no, she wasn't sexually active) and she knew from that point on that she could talk to me about anything. And, I'm afraid she did!

I'm sure that if your step-son knew that you knew, he probably would curtail his activities on such a frequent basis. But you have to give him the time, freedom, and privacy to do what is natural. But, you have to tell him in such a way that he knows that there while you understand the need for him to do his business, that it's not necessary to flaunt it carelessly. It's a private matter and should remain private.

I don't know if my oldest stepdaughter thought I was a cool parent or not. I DO know that she understood that I was open to talk about anything.

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