AND NOW, A MESSAGE FROM JOE

Hello Reader’s of Cookiebitch,

Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Joe.  Like Cookiebitch, I too have a blog. It’s called Hey Joe. Our blogs are similar in that we both tend to be somewhat grumpy, misanthropic, “glass is half empty” kind of bloggers. Cookie talks about her boobs, I talk about my dick. Well not really. I actually talk about boobs more than my dick. Not to say that my dick isn’t worth talking about. Anyway, I’m getting off track. There is one major difference between our blogs, however, and it is this:  Unlike Cookie, I actually post more than once every fucking quarter. To that end, and because I am such a stanch friend, instead of continuing to ride her ass and ridicule her lack of dedication to her art, I have chosen to do something benevolent and constructive by offering to write a “guest post”.

Cookie actually got me into blogging back when we were corporate whores together, lying on our backs and scuffing our knees in Smurfville. Then one bleak day Cookie abandoned me because she’s just that way, leaving me to battle the Smurfs alone. Eventually, because they failed to recognize my genius, I too abandoned Smurfville while simultaneously raising the bar on my whoring capacity by returning to the world of insurance claims. Then, THEN, lured by the monstrous, engorged, throbbing carrot, Cookie returned to Smurfville, where she now toils, communicating corporately, under the heavy thumb of Papa Smurf.

So great is her burden as Corporate Bitch that it leaves Cookie literally no time to blog. It’s hard to blog when you’re being violated six ways from Sunday. Believe me, I know. But don’t give up on Cookiebitch!  She needs your support now more than ever!  Clap your thighs together and shout it to the heavens – I DO believe in bitches. Wait, I think I’ve got some Pixie dust here…POOF…now think HAPPY THOUGHTS—WE LOVE COOKIE—WE LOVE COOKIE—COME BACK COOKIE—COME BACK COOKIE.

Eh fuck it. Just read my blog instead.

Comments

[Lizzie]

Of course we want Cookie back! If not...can I do the next guest post? I have boobs to talk about.

[Joe]

OK, I'm sick of my post. Post something else. Quickly.

[Di]

'I DO believe in bitches' and cookie bitch is the best kind of bitch and I wish like hell that she would post more because I would put her on top of my links list.

Brilliant guest post ... I'm hoping for results now. Hmmm, maybe I'll link in anticipation :)

[Daisy]

Um yeah, I could have lived without the dick talk...especially in the same blog as "monstrous, engorged, throbbing carrot.”