WEEKEND MIX

Friends don't let friends shit themselves

The football party was a success, and I am happy to say there was no puking, shitting, or pissing in inappropriate places. But I can't help but feel like the party lost something because of everyone's good behavior. SIGH ... maybe this is a sign I've finally grown up. When microbrews and Chardonnay replaces cheap burbon and Night Train; puking is replaced by napping; and sirens are replaced by intelligent conversation you know you've reached a different plain of existance. Boy, do I miss those times wallowing in the gutter, tho.

Check out pictures from our "football party" on the right. A disclaimer: No one pictured has ever been part of a trifecta.

Patent pending ...

After some of your posts this week, I have determined that we all need to pool our money and go into business together.

Patrick's suggestion for little baby bongs is a gold mine. Think of how docile and well behaved little Johnny would be stoned out of his mind. There would be none of that screaming and crying anymore ... just a smiling, squinty-eyed baby wanting Yoo-hoo! instead of breast milk in their bottle.

AJ's comment had me brainstorming an idea for "party pants" with built in diapers on the inside and stain guard on the outside. That way my trifecta friends would be easier to hose down after too much tequila. I can think of at least four people I know who should buy them.

It's worse than I thought ...

I found out from my friend Michelle that the diaper game I referred to in "GET THOSE TINY SHOES AWAY FROM ME" can be much worse than I thought. In the showers she has attended, EVERY diaper is dirty - each smeared with a different kind of candy bar to simulate baby shit. The object of the game is to stick your nose in the baby diaper, or possibly fondle the simulated baby shit, and guess which candy bar was used in each case. This is too fucking sick for words. I can guarantee you, this will NEVER happen to me ... whether I have a flask or not.

Web site of the week ...

Helena Lazaro is my new best friend. The poet and just plain fucking cool chick visited Cookiebitch this week and raved about it as The Best Blog Ever on her own blog ... which, by the way, is very funny, honest, and smart. Check it out ... and her out ... at http://www.poethelena.com/archives/000342.html. I feel honored that our blogs crossed. Thanks Helena! And thanks to Deadpan for being my blog pimp!

Comments

[Helena]

Awww! Shucks. I'm just glad to have myself a new role model. Those pics make me hungry.

[Neil]

Cookie -- you have a great blog! But the Best Blog Ever? I'm going to wait until I read some of your sex stories or see some kitten photos until I join the bandwagon.