HORMONES AND HURRICANES DON'T MIX

You know it's going to be a shitty day - possibly a shitty week - when you cry through an episode of the "Golden Girls."

That was my morning. I always watch "Golden Girls" as I get ready for work. Sophia, that little spunky Sicilian, always makes me laugh - a fun way to start a day. Yet when Stan dressed up as Santa Claus at a homeless shelter and handed out novelty toys to the kids, I made big sobbing sounds in my throat as I struggled to hold the tear back. Oh the humanity!

What the fuck is wrong with me? Normally I hate sappy movies, sappy songs, sappy anything. I hate "getting in touch with my emotions," and having "touchy feely" conversations. I prefer to drink and laugh rather than be sober and cry.

This morning wasn't the first sign something was wrong. Last night, when my husband said he was bringing an extra pound of coffee I had purchased with him to work, I huffed around the house like he had asked if he could have a bunch of porn stars over to have sex with in front of me. Normally I wouldn't even be that upset about the porn stars, as long as there were a few in there for me ... but DAMNIT, DON'T TOUCH MY EXTRA COFFEE! It was like I NEEDED to be mad at something.

I could blame it on PMS ... which I only get once every three months now thanks to a pill called SEASONALE, which I would run into a burning building to retrieve (although there is no need really, because my husband would beat me to it.)

But it is more than that. After a three day weekend spent partially watching the news, I think my psyche is trying to vent its frustration on normally mundane things. I'm pissed off that our country is being led by a moron who can invade other countries at a whim, but can't deliver food and water to its own suffering citizens for FIVE DAYS after a hurricane. I'm frustrated that every television station in the country can manage to get into the "hurricane zone" but the military couldn't for almost a week. I'm sad that our country puts so little value on human life, especially when those lives are poor and black. And I'm irritated because there is very little I can do about any of it.

So I'm taking today to be an irrational and emotional bitch. I'm going to cry at commercials and sappy songs, and watch Lifetime movies unashamed. I'm going to snap at my coworkers when they want me to do something I don't want to do. And I'm going to eat anything I want to and not feel guilty about it because god knows at any moment I could find myself stranded on a roof without any food and water pissed off that the last meal I had consisted of lettuce and cottage cheese.

Tomorrow I'll get over it. But today I'm wallowing. I think we all deserve to wallow once and awhile. Join me won't you?

Comments

[Megan]

I'll join you. Don't worry, you are not crazy or an emotional bitch. And, it's not just you. Yesterday I tried to be a responsible citizen by watching the news and figuring out what I could do to help. By noon it was all too depressing for me and I ended up finding out that Ike was in fact not Talia's baby's daddy on the Maury Povich show. I think we are all wallowing and looking for ways to feel better...

[Patrick]

The trick is to sandwich the heavy doses of reality with tequila and sobbing, which can help alleviate any long-term damage, Also, watching Fox with the sound off and adding obscene voice overs for the talking heads (no, not David Byrne and company) is very theraputic. With tequila, of course.

But seriously - golden girls?

[Cobi]

I had to choke back tears at work yesterday because of a story in our paper about a little six year old boy who was found wandering with five other children smaller than him that he was taking care of. One of them was only five months old. It's the stories about the kids that really get to me. If I could fly down there and bring all those babies back with me, I would.